1. In the morning, his breathe smells like there has been liquor on his tongue and smoke on his lips. He tries to hide it, but it’s the result of years of being young and free, of neglect and self destruction.
2. The last boy loved blue eyes that reminded him of the ocean’s depths; or dazzling blue eyes that sparkled like ice. He can’t swim and likes brown eyes. He likes the way mine change colour in the light, from the deep brown of the dirt to golden amber. To him, my eyes are more than a single ocean; they are the warmth of the planet and the safety of land.
3. He knows i have never known a man, and never acts like i should. While others before him have touched me only to seduce, he would never tempt me past the line of no return. He caresses my face and tells me how soft my skin is to touch. He fondles my hand and learns every line. When he touches my waist, he holds me steady to help me face to world. While others have tried to undress me, he undresses my soul to show me he is worthy of my most precious possession.
4. He has never laughed at my teddy bear. He knows the nights haunt me with ghosts of demons past and i am weak from fighting. But when we sleep, his arms are around me and mine are around no other. He holds me close with his back to the cruel world; he is my champion for the night and lays me down to rest.
5. He says i am beautiful, always. When i am ready to destroy the world in my black dress and blood red lipstick; when i am in jeans that don’t fit, ready to race him down the street; when i am lying in his bed, wearing nothing but his sweater and messy hair, begging for 5 more minutes of sleep. i wonder what horrible things he must have seen to think my bed head is beautiful."
i left the bed to write this, and he is wondering where i am (myiaisawkward)